pretended love Thursday September 24, 2009
Dear Alice Miller,
I just wanted to share this poem with you ehich I wrote a couple of months ago..
Thank you for your wonderfull work. It is realy helpfull and I hope I will learn more in time.
............................................
"Pain"
I am alone, not by choise, but because there is no one to be by my side
and I cried for too long without a voice, acting like I choose to hide...
the pain..
She holds my hand, this little girl inside of me, helpless and insecure
trying to show the strengts of a woman she wants ME to be, so I don't have to endure...
this pain..
I have forsaken her, the part of me that is my soul, I lied to her gave her hope
promising that THIS person will make me whole, and wont play a game like the others, giving me...
pain..
Still, deep down I know I'm fooling my heart, because this person like the others, doesn't know what love is,
and I can't teach him that part, because I haven't leared it either, so all that remains is...
this pain....
.......................................
I can tell you that I feel great, because I have finaly given up my hopes and expectations of people who can't give me the love that I need, that means also my parents. I can see how they became the people they are now and I can feel sorry for the children they were, but I can't forgive what they have done to me, how they turned me into an insecure, low-selfesteem, self-hating and weak person. Since I stoped hoping to recieve the love they CANNOT give, I feel free. At first I cried so hard that I thought I was going to die, but you were right, feelings don't kill. And even though I still cry at times, I do't mind, and I won't stop my tears anymore. I will let the child in me FEEL and not distract it with "pretend love" from people who don't even know what love is.
Thank you for everything
D. (20)
PS. I would like for you to watch this video. It's a short but powerfull poem, by Daniel Beaty called "Knock Knock"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nktBsI0PYPs&feature=channel_page
AM: I congratulate you to your insights!
http://www.alice-miller.com/articles_en.php?lang=en&nid=107&grp=11
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